Picklefart

Tea and Strumpets
Roused way too early this morning by CSIS or whoever is guarding the visiting royals. Apparently Prince Chuck and Cammy wanted an impromptu visit with a local “green” initiative.
Quickly painted my face where it used to be and threw on what would pass as dowdy attire and came down to La Bo to give Chuckie and Cammy a tour.
After showing them the geothermal thingy and solar panels and recycling stuff I ran out of things to show them so I just started making shit up: Rory Edmondson, our bar manager, runs the draft lines by a foot pump, Antonio Psenica sews all our clothes from recycled bits of cloth from lost and found etc. etc. Then it came to me: Roof-top chicken coop!
Grabbed a couple bottle of Metaxa - in honor of Chuckie’s Greek lineage- and took them up to meet roof-top roosters and hens.
Needless to say, things got more relaxed after a few shots of what I call “Greek Introduction”. Cammy can drink me under the table (and that is no easy feat) but Chucky got all weepy lamenting he’ll never have his chance at the throne. So, trying to cheer him up, I made him a dare:at his coronation he has to do the “look what I can do!” dance. Plus I gave him a nice new-agey affirmation (he loves that kind of shit!)”-My job is to appreciate what is, and that includes Queeny. When I appreciate Mommsy, I appreciate myself. ” Then I blew some Gauloise blonde smoke in his face and told him it was sweet grass.
Sent them packing back to the Sask. Hotel with matching thongs from our sister restaurant SLOW embroidered with the logo “eat local”.
If they seem a little off during their visit toe qc you will know why.

@9am

Just checked that the cleaners did a good job re-stocking the washrooms and noticed that Prince Chuck apparently is not familiar with a “Royal Flush”. Come on Chuck….as spectacular as we are it is not “The Royal Throne”….you’ve got to learn to do things without mommsy telling you how.

@10am

Ohhhhhh……the Metaxa “burn” is starting to settle in…hope Prince Chuck and the Ducky Cammy are faring well after this morning’s exploits…..if their faces look pinched it might be from the “eat local” thongs I gave them as a gift when were done doing belly-shots up in the roof-top chicken coop.
I wonder how much was caught on our surveillance cameras? Could I sell those to “HELLO” magazine?
Soup today is pork and mushroom.
Pasta of the day is penne in a rose sauce with beef, ‘shrooms and smoked Gouda.
Lunch feature is chicken spring rolls served with mixed baby greens.
As Prince Chuckie would say…stay calm and carry,carry……carry a fresh baguette baked by Chef Adam Sperling.

@11am

Shes hilarious!